An old diary entry(05/01/07)

waiting to see you in person for a year and a half now...

yet today the wait is suppose to be different...

when we meet we'll embrace each other as friends...

& yet i know when i'm in your arms i melt...

with the memory of your smell, your touch, your love , i've lived this year & a half...

& yet today its wrong cos all i am today is a friend...

As i sit in front of you and talk and share your stories, I am only but half with you...

cos another half is lost in the longing to sit against you with your arms around me...

A part of me wants to cry n yell n crib for a love lost... for a boyfriend who called me his innocent precious all through our relationship and ended it by calling me a slut...

& yet i smile in joy for a friend i met after years.

Today i hope you have found the true love you couldn't find in me n yet fresh are the fantasies of motherhood i shared with you...

Am i lying to myself n being a hypocryte or well jus a true friend???