Infidelity
Your world can’t revolve around the one you are going around with cos there is more to life n there is more to you. Connecting with other people, making new friends, sharing experiences, partying n having a blast… life is incomplete without any of these. I don’t expect my guy to be so lost in me that he misses out on life… infact I’d hate the idea.
At times I’d get jealous but those were just momentary phases. I trusted him madly. N knew he loved me.
But then it got to a point where he got so lost in her emotional turmoil that being there for her became more important than our relationship surviving… he sat hours n talked to her but taking to me for a few minutes a day seemed like an ordeal… He wanted to make sure that she had his shoulder to cry on but shut the doors on me when I cried an ocean…
I don’t think he even realized it but I felt cheated… there was nothing physical… I can vouch for that cos I trust him… but isn’t emotional unfaithfulness counted as infidelity too?
Many people in committed relationships aren’t aware that emotional affairs can be as intense and destructive as a physical affair... but at times it can take away all you share.
At times I’d get jealous but those were just momentary phases. I trusted him madly. N knew he loved me.
But then it got to a point where he got so lost in her emotional turmoil that being there for her became more important than our relationship surviving… he sat hours n talked to her but taking to me for a few minutes a day seemed like an ordeal… He wanted to make sure that she had his shoulder to cry on but shut the doors on me when I cried an ocean…
I don’t think he even realized it but I felt cheated… there was nothing physical… I can vouch for that cos I trust him… but isn’t emotional unfaithfulness counted as infidelity too?
Many people in committed relationships aren’t aware that emotional affairs can be as intense and destructive as a physical affair... but at times it can take away all you share.
posted by anjan | 5:38 AM
10 Comments:
If only... He wasn't such a self-pitying asshole.
He made his bed. Let him lay in it. He has noone to blame but himself. "Fallen out of love" means it's over. Not "wait around for me till the cows come home while I screw around with all and sundry".
He was fucking discussing with you whether or not he was in love with someone else... WTF does he expect?
Trust me, you don't want to be with someone like this. You may not believe it now but the truth is he's used and abused you in too many ways to count. You deserve someone who values you - not someone who takes you for granted, disappears for months on end, tells you he's out of love with you and possibly in love with someone else and then calls you unfaithful when you try to move on.
Love you...
Divya
Ouch!!Div easy cutes! I don't wanna think of it in that way... i jus wanna let go... he probably has his reasons n his way of looking at things...
What went wrong.. who was at fault... all this doesnt matter anymore... cos the bottomline is its OVER!!
He kept me like a princess and showed me a very warm side of love while we were in the relationship. I know i've really bugged you, with all my emotional mess, over the past few months. Thanx for being there baby. Dont worry about me. I am moving on way faster than i even expected.
You are extremely sweet... What can I say?
Yes, he treated you like a princess at the start. But after he realised you were in for the long haul, he took you completely for granted. To the extent that he expected to be able to come back to you, no questions asked after spending countless days ignoring you and with another woman.
How dare he question your loyalty? Your fidelity? The b**tard doesn't understand the meaning of the words. Tell him to understand what he's doing before he does it next time. He can't treat someone like shit, dump them for another girl and then expect the person to still hang on to him. That's not loyalty. That's stupidity.
And you know you can call me any time, day or night. :)
well well well! So this is what is thought of me.
If only you knew!
What do you know?
The twisted facts that others around me tell you...
The things you imagine and try to piece together based on what you know...
Let me ask you this...
Have i ever lied to you?
If the answer to that is a sincere "No you havent", then let me ask you...
Have I ever been Unfaithful to you.
if the answer to that is unsure or a yes...
let me ask you why do you feel so.
coz i know, i never have.
when i have never been with anyone else, thought of anyone else and never in my wildest dreams could i ever succumb to the desires of the skin and you know it....
then why do you say i have cheated on you?
if finding another human who i can relate to and feel comfortable with but in an aspect purely plutonic, though deep yet just sincerely innocent friendship, then yes....yes i have cheated on you.
as for the feelings for you....yes they did change....but independent of the new addition in my life.
if you can ever believe that i cannot lie to you...then beleive me now....
as for the rest of the world....i care a damn what they think.
god bless and may you find your bliss...
Love,
Ohmz.
I'm glad we had that long talk. :)
I'm even more happy about how it ended. Please don't ever forget how wonderful and special you are. I think at the end of the day, it doesn't matter if the other party is unwilling to accept any fault of theirs. I honestly don't care if he never sees it, if he never appreciates what he had with you and how badly he's screwed up. It's cool... So long as you're ok. And now that I know you will be (messages or no messages!), I really don't give a shit. Let him go through whatever - it's time someone started worrying about you for a change. Much love.
hmmm....im ashamed i couldnt say it!but im glad somebody did!well said div!
Ohmz frankly I was a little surprised to get a comment from you cos you never bothered replying to the numerous mails I sent you telling u I was in pain… crying to u… begging you to tell me what was going on… begging you for a closure… Atleast then all these answers would have been in closed mails and not on open blogs… anyway…
I believe you Ohmz. Every word you’ve told me. I always did na.
“as for the feelings for you....yes they did change....but independent of the new addition in my life.” For four odd months Ohmz I could see my relationship dying while you nurtured another relationship, even if it was just platonic… I don’t grudge u having a life… making friends… I’m jus upset that you were there for someone else when I was going through a lot more… U saw things going wrong between us and didn’t bother doing anything about it… u gave me 42 days of silence… and then came back n said u fell outta love when I still was waiting for u to come back n make everything ok… I couldn’t understand how you jus fell outta love but at the end of the day I couldn’t force you to be in love na… Feel like I’ve said these things over and over again but still haven’t gotten my answers….
No one around you told me any twisted facts… your friends have always supported you… don’t ever doubt them. I was still clinging on to u through it all till u came back after 42 days n said it was over… they just helped me through that phase by telling me everything was gonna be ok, when u went into silence leaving me all worried n hyper…
Anyway Ohmz the best way to deal with this today is to just let go of memories of the relationship so that atleast we can get our friendship back…
I’m sorry if I’ve acted immature and hurt you at times… I didn’t mean to… It was jus tough to deal with it initially…
Don’t worry about me… I will definitely find my bliss…
Thanks for everything baby…
Love,
Anjan
To my two grandmothers - Par n Div
Will u guys ever change!!!! Hee Hee [:D] Love ya soooooooooooooooo much. Don't know what i would have done without the two of you. Thanks for tolerating the kid in me. I'm growing up now... I swear!!
BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG HUG!!
God Bless.
Love,
Anjan
the comments here are longer than the write up. well written passage on infidelity Anjan. i think its ones own choice and wish. none else can comment on it. every case is unique in its way. others judging fidelity of another woman/man, is like blind man judging a painting exhibition.
Btw, Thanks for the comments on my blog Anjan. :)
Post a Comment
<< Home