Sinner

I was very upset with him… he was hurting me time n again… n not even realizing it… I needed him… n he wasn’t there… then this stranger walked into my life… he wanted to comfort me… I wanted to end all the pain my love was causing me … wanted to sin… but I couldn’t betray the one I love… it was just a phase… it passed…

When he called, I told him everything… didn’t want to hide things from him… it’s like hiding things from myself… he seemed to understand… things seemed normal again… felt as close to him as ever… just melt when I hear his voice…

But he’s upset… don’t whether he’s upset with me… or himself… or just frustrated with the trials of the distance… All I know is that I caused it… I’m so used to getting hurt… but I can’t bear the thought of hurting him… I'm a heartless bitch… feel like I’ve betrayed his trust… feel like I have sinned… I hurt him but I didn’t mean to… I love him… truly… deeply… madly…

I told him that he lost me… but I think in the bargain I lost myself…